Dwalin's Revenge
by NarniaTolkienNerd
Summary: A sequel to A Prank from Hobbiton. Dwalin plans revenge on Fili and Kili and enlists Bilbo's help. Fili and Kili are in for a shock!
**Here is a sequel to A Prank from Hobbiton requested by firefoxxe. Thanks for giving me so many funny ideas! I hope you enjoy this one. :)**

Dwalin was angry. He knew from years of experience that Fili and Kili had been behind why his desert tasted like troll. When Dwalin had tasted whatever it was in the middle, he nearly gaged and spit it out. After that he spent about ten minutes storming around the camp trying to find those two rascals, of course they were hiding so he eventually gave up his search.

The next day Dwalin started thinking. Well, it was more like brooding but he was still thinking. He figured the boys must have had an ally to help them with the cooking. It couldn't have been Bombur, he was too sensible to agree to such a thing. Fortunately for Dwalin, he was sharp eyed and keen eared, and pieced together who he thought was their ally, Bilbo Baggins. Why that simpleton of a hobbit would agree to help Fili and Kili was beyond him, though those two troublemakers could be very persuasive when they wanted to.

Right before Dwalin was about to storm up to Bilbo Baggins a thought occurred to him. What if, for punishment, Bilbo helped Dwalin do something that would strike the fear of Mahal into their hearts. That just might solve his pranking problem.

With that thought Dwalin walked over the where Mr. Baggins was sitting and fixed a stern look at him. Bilbo instantly had a look of slight fear on his face as he stared up at the large dwarf.

"Mr. Baggins, I believe ye owe me a favor." Dwalin said simply.

Bilbo looked a bit uncomfortable, "Ah yes, well..." Then, to avoid talking about the subject, Bilbo asked "how do you want me to help you?"

Dwalin quickly glanced at where Fili and Kili were talking to make sure they couldn't hear him. "I think I might have an idea that will stop those two trouble makers from wanting to prank anyone again. And ye will help me."

Knowing he did not have much choice in that matter, Bilbo nodded his head. Dwalin then quickly told him his plan.

A little later on that day, as the company was riding along the road through a forest, Dwalin steered his pony a little closer to Thorin's.

"Thorin, I think we need to talk about your nephews."

Thorin heaved a sigh, "This is about their prank isn't it."

"Aye Thorin." Dwalin said, "I think we ought to do something that will make those two not wish to create trouble."

"Dwalin, it was only one prank."

"And three last month alone. Don't ye think they're getting to old for this?" Dwalin replied.

Thorin looked thoughtful, "What do you have in mind?"

Dwalin smirked, "I'll need ye to move camp tonight after they're asleep, and then..."

Once Dwalin was done explaining his plan Thorin smiled slightly, "This will be interesting."

Later that night, everything seemed normal. Everyone in the camp was doing their own thing, as normal. Dinner was passed out and a few hours later, most of the company fell asleep. Or so Fili and Kili thought. They both quickly fell asleep too.

 **(A.N.: I think it makes the next paragraph really funny if you hum the Mission Impossible theme)** Once Bilbo was sure the boys were asleep, he walked quietly around the camp and gave a hand signal to the "sleeping" dwarves telling them to quietly get up and to walk a small ways off the the bushes. Bilbo then followed Dwalin's instructions and quietly grabbed the sleeping dwarve's weapons and brought them to Bifur, who was helping. For Fili's numerous weapons however, Bilbo had to take two trips, unsure if he even found them all.

'That dwarf has an utterly ridiculous amount of weapons! I don't think he would need all of them.' Bilbo thought as he snatched some more weapons laying hidden beside Fili. Once he got as many weapons as he could find, Bilbo shook his head and walked back to Dwalin who was waiting in the shadows.

"Is the task complete burglar?" Dwalin asked.

"Yes, yes I got as many as I could find." Bilbo replied shortly, feeling a bit bad for helping so much in this prank. He shrugged that thought off, those boys had it coming for them.

Dwalin looked around him, making sure the other dwarves were in position. Most stood silent and a few had smirks of their faces.

Dwalin jumped out of the bushes, making a lot of racket while he did so. He yelled out "GET UP LADS! Orcs are attacking! The others are fighting them off, hurry. GRAB YOUR WEAPONS!"

Fili and Kili shot up from their bed rolls, looking alarmed. The company hiding in the trees made lots of noise and made sounds like they were fighting. Some tried to be creative and imitate orcs. Dwalin, seeing his job of waking Fili and Kili up was complete, barreled back into the trees.

Fili and Kili were now frantic to help the rest of the dwarves. Wide eyed, they made a grab for their weapons only to find a fist full of dirt. Kili scrambled to find his weapons while Fili looked around and took out one dagger from his sleeve.

In the trees Bilbo saw this and rolled his eyes with an exasperated sigh, of course the dwarf had yet another dagger with him.

"Kili! Stay here and look for your weapons, I need to help the others!" Fili yelled to Kili from across the camp.

"Fili, you only have one dagger! Stay here and help me find the weapons." Kili replied, feeling afraid for the safety of his brother. Waking up to news of an Orc attack sent Kili's heart racing, trying to ready himself for anything. But when he couldn't find his weapons, his tired brain was working overtime to process everything.

"Don't worry, I'll be fine. Stay safe!" Fili could see the fear on Kili's face. He felt bad for leaving his brother, but in that situation he needed to make sure the rest of the company were not out numbered. Afterwards he could find out where most of his weapons went. There was a nagging suspicion in the back of Fili's mind that the weapons had been taken but he pushed it away. With adrenaline pulsing through his veins, Fili crept into the trees, expecting to find a number of orcs and some of the company members fighting for their lives.

"ARGH!" A yelling figure jumped at Fili's side and raised its sword. Fili jumped back, and without processing who his attacker was, readied his small dagger.

Instead of striking, his attacker suddenly burst out laughing. Only then did Fili realize that Dwalin was his attacker. Dwalin was doubled over with laughter, and around him he rest of the company were laughing as well. Behind Fili, Kili was looking around very confused. As everyone stepped out of the woods, the pieces in Fili and Kili's mind fit together at the same time.

"What!" Kili cried.

"You nearly gave us a heart attack!" Fili accused.

Thorin walked up to them and gave them one of his Durin Glares, though not as severe as he could have done. "I hope you both learned not to pull a prank during this quest. If you do, I am sure the rest of the company would not mind giving you two the slip again."

Fili and Kili instantly paled. Bofur was grinning ear to ear. "You should have seen yourselves! You acted like terrified chickens when they thought they'd seen a wolf! Now I see why you prank someone else."

A lot of chuckles from the other dwarves where heard at this statement.

"Now Bofur don't start acting like Fili and Kili or you will get a similar treatment as they did." Bilbo warned, still feeling a little bad for scaring those boys.

Dwalin however, did not feel bad at all. The looks on the boys faces were priceless! 'Now you've seen what I do for revenge.' He thought.

Thorin had played along with Dwalin's plan, hoping this would teach his nephews a lesson. Also, in the back of his mind, he remembered a certain honey and feather incident many years ago. The boys had been grounded for a week and Dis had said he never had looked more ridiculous.

Though Kili was a bit frustrated with the other dwarves, he inwardly smiled at the thought of he and Fili looking like terrified chickens as Bofur put it. "Did we really look like terrified chickens?" He asked.

"Yes!" was the reply from most of the dwarves. Many chuckled again at the thought. Even Fili cracked a smile.

And the quest went on! When Fili and Kili were offered back their weapons they snatched them and heled them close. Fili and Kili still messed and joked around but refrained from pulling any real pranks on anyone. And from that, one this everyone learned was to never underestimate Dwalin's ability to plan for revenge.

 **Well, I hope you guys liked the sequel. It is a little longer than the first story but I think it's ok. I tried to make everyone as in character as possible. I like this one a lot. Don't get on Dwalin's bad side :)**

 **This is basically April fools day at my house :P**

 **Thanks for reading and please review and tell me what you thought!**


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